- Ghost Sex- So those ghosts in this ladies house are getting it on on the reg and are sweet and happy as a result. It isn't a long shot to say that anyone getting some on a regular basis would be happier than someone with a less than ample love life. Sex has all kinds of really good health benefits like decreased blood pressure, relieves stress, boosts the immune system, and burns calories just to name a few. Do I really have to be the fuddy duddy skeptic that raises my eyebrow at the incorporeal getting jiggy with it all through the house though?
- Air Force and UFOs- So the Air Force stopped investigating UFO claims several decades ago but a reference popped up where they went against protocol? They then *gasp* deleted the report after they were called out on it? I'm sorry. I shouldn't be such a snot about this but I just find it funny. Don't get me wrong... I definitely believe in life beyond Earth. I think it is very egotistical to think that our teeny tiny planet is the only place that developed life in the entirety of the universe. But why keep harassing the Air Force over this stuff? Don't they have better things to do? I would certainly hope so.
- Placenta Pills- One word here. Yuck. That is all.
- Farting on the Bus- The kids farted and then got suspended. Even if the school's report that they did it alllll the time and was doing it on purpose to annoy everyone else... so what? They are kids for crying out loud. They fart. They burp. They pick their noses. Personally, I'd rather they eat it than to wipe it somewhere that I could end up touching. Just my opinion. Okay, so I understand the irritation. It smells awful. My little sisters do these things all the time. I do really understand that it is gross. In the boys's defense, their bus ride is a freaking hour long trip! So is it something worthy of suspension? No. How about loss of bus privileges after a few calls/letters home? To call farting an "obscene gesture" that is against the school's code of conduct is stupid... It's not like they were caught receiving oral sex on the bus like a few boys in my high school when I was their age. Cripes. Let them be kids.
- Dolphin Sex- Also, one word here. Yuck. Okay more than one. WTF??? Yea, I'm done with this one.
- New Orleans and UFOs- So apparently the local football game flipped over to a 30-ish second shot of New Orleans during live down-time that appeared to show a UFO hovering over the city. I admit, it looks pretty convincing. The explanation is funny though. Time lapse photography? On what is supposed to be a live shot of the city? Jeeze. Time lapse photography is a really neat thing though, providing some incredible shots of things we'd never see with our own eyes. Cool story.
- Obama vs Side Shows- I remember when this went down, though I don't remember it really being that big of a deal. Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention to the news at the time. Obama rubbed his birth certificate in the birthers's faces and ended up insulting carnival barkers with a quip in the process. Did he apologize? I'm not sure. Most seemed to take it in stride. It seems the biggest hub bub was the term "barker" being a misnomer for carnival employees, as the correct term is talker and never has been barker. The more you know...
- Burger Ban- North Carolina banned the selling of rare and medium-rare ground beef. I'm a fan of medium-rare. It still has most of the flavor but it isn't moo-ing at me. I am not a fan of the charcoal bricks that is well-done beef. Disgusting. I'd rather just eat sides if that is the case.
- Big Momma- This isn't weird... it is sad. A 32 year old woman, already weighing over 700 pounds, is eating 22,000 calories a day in hopes of reaching 2,000 pounds by the time she is 41. Another, weighing over 500 pounds at the time, required 30 doctors to deliver her daughter in 2007. That. Is. Crazy. Apparently, the worlds heaviest woman weighed 1,200 pounds at her death in 2006. Holy. Crap. Guinness recognizes the heaviest person, but will not take records for the thinnest? On what planet does that make sense? Either way, it is terrible for your health!
- Sarah Palin Passed 8th Grade English- When Alaska governor Sarah Palin submitted all those emails for review in June, they didn't find anything racy or illegal so they had to go digging for something and sensationalize it to make it at least seem like "juicy" news. Palin's emails are written on an 8th grade reading level. John Grisham, Tom Clancy, and Stephen King write on a 7th grade level (according to this blurb). Romance novels are written at a 5th grade level. The average reading level for Americans is... 8th grade! Don't get me wrong... I'm no Palin fan. But picking apart the woman for her writing level is absurd.
- Human Ashtray- This one is pretty weird, I have to admit that. This guy is so opposed to being a smoker that he stubbed out 70 cigarettes on his tongue to set a record. The fact that he is [addicted to]* nicotine too but I'm not volunteering to put a cigarette out on my tongue.
So... most of these I wouldn't call weird news so much as dumb or sad. I take major issue with #9. #2, 4, 6, 7 and 10 are just stupid. #3 and 5 are gross. Beyond gross. Like vomit inducing. I think they should have gone with the 100 pound scrotum man as their #1 weirdest. He asked for donations for his million dollar surgery to be sent via paypal to the email address email@example.com. I mean, c'mon that is awesome. At least he has a sense of humor about his scrotal elephantiasis.
Do you have a nomination for 2011's weirdest news? Hit me in the comments below!
*Edit for disappearing words. o.0
*Edit for disappearing words. o.0
Love is love, no matter the back story. <3 DS